Talk to real experts, not AI bots
Family mediators across England and Wales are reporting a growing number of separating and divorcing couples turning to AI chatbots for advice on arrangements for parenting, money and property. That’s before they discover what they really need is the judgement of a trained, accountable professional instead of a generic algorithm.
The Family Mediation Council (FMC), the home of regulated family mediation in England and Wales, acknowledges that AI tools can sound confident, empathetic, and even personal. But it warns they cannot replace the expertise, training and human judgement of a registered family mediator working with the specific situation of a real family.
“AI can sound like it knows you. It doesn’t,” says Helen Anthony, CEO of the FMC. “It gives you the same answer it would give anyone else with roughly the same question, cleverly dressed up to sound personal.
“A qualified family mediator takes time to get to know your family situation: your shared history, your children, what has happened, and what those involved aspire for in the future.
“The mediator uses their expertise, training and years of experience to help you find a solution that works for you, not a generic script.
A convincing voice is not the same as an expert one
“AI chatbots are often designed to sound warm, attentive and reassuring, as though they know and understand the person communicating with them.
“For families going through separation, at vulnerable and high-stakes moments, this can be misleading. An AI tool has no training in family dynamics, no accountability for the advice it gives, and no ability to read what is really happening between two people navigating one of the toughest periods of their lives.”
She says that mediators report people coming to them having tried to use an AI tool or a search engine, and becoming more confused, not less.
“What they needed was someone who could sit with them, listen properly, and help them work out what mattered most for everyone in the family, especially the children,” says Helen Anthony. “That is much more beneficial than reading more words from a chatbot app.”
Why training and oversight matter
Every mediator on the FMC Register has met standards that no AI tool is held to.
By choosing a Mediator from the FMC Register, a family will be sure to get one who:
- Has undertaken recognised professional training in family mediation
- follows the FMC’s Code of Practice
- maintains professional practice, by carrying out appropriate professional development activities, and
- is supported by a Professional Practice Consultant, an experienced, independent mediator who reviews their work to help ensure the highest standards are maintained.
This is a level of accountability, scrutiny and real human expertise that simply has no equivalent in an AI tool, however fluent or confident it may sound.
“Separation is not a generic problem with a generic answer,” says Helen Anthony. “It’s your children, your home, your money and debts. It’s your future. That deserves a real, trained expert in the room with you – not an algorithm guessing what you want to hear.”
The FMC is encouraging anyone going through separation or divorce to use its register to find a local FMC Registered Mediator, rather than relying on AI tools or generic online advice for decisions as significant as arrangements for children, money or property.
